Beliefs Less Traveled
This article discusses the personal journey of our founder while touching upon three separate beliefs that haunted him for some time. The exploration uncovered new truths for him and may even highlight some beliefs which you hold for yourself. We believe it is worth spending your valuable time, especially if the reading stirs something in you: awareness may come presently.
(Note) This post was originally published on February 24, 2014, at the Benninghofen Company blog site.
Background
This article discusses three beliefs which some of us may or may not hold in high esteem. I didn’t hold them in any esteem, for what seemed like the longest time.
Insight into Beliefs Less Traveled
Background
As a starter, much thanks to Dr. Scott Peck for his popular and famous book because I was able to use a portion of his coined title with my slant on it to catch your attention. Maybe it worked, maybe not…
By the way, the book was powerful for me, but I did not perceive the deepest spiritual side of it until the second or third read when the spirituality was present from the beginning; I was just not in a frame-of-reference to accept it. I recognized that it had to do with my beliefs and my ability to perceive things.
My Experience
I was fortunate enough to have been born in Ohio into a beautiful family with a mother, father, and two older brothers. Our parents loved us, taught us fundamental beliefs, and gave us a connection into possibility and opportunity. It was up to us to do something with all these teachings, make selections for ourselves, and become participants and contributors in our way.
Our parents pointed us to all kinds of subjects, kept us busy learning, reading, gaming, and playing, usually with a bent toward becoming aware and understanding how things work in reality. There was a strong desire to have us accept people for who they were, regardless of their race, economics, heritage, abilities, and understanding. We learned that humans beings are similar, irrespective of where you were born or who you were. We were all encouraged to search for and define our purpose in life.
All learning, coupled with the concept of religious traditions, showed us how God could work in your life. I don’t honestly think I understood that one very thoroughly until I was well into my thirties.
My Journey
My childhood was terrific, looking through the lens of hindsight. But the center of my universe titled a bit on its axis during the teenage years. When I look at the bread-crumb trail of evidence, I excelled until I hit high-school. I was tested and told that my IQ was high. The main question I kept hearing abounded from everywhere – “Why wasn’t I reaching my potential?”.
Of course, I had left all my church activities (my hero priest moved to another parish). I started driving at sixteen, and fell in love endlessly. I watched my mother escape a failed suicide then institutionalized for a while and spent the last few years in high-school almost completely un-parented when I needed it most. I started to lose the first belief that “possibility and opportunity truly existed in all ways,” and this seemed wholly unnoticed by me until later…
I graduated high school in the bottom third of my high-school class. I flunked out of state college in a summer session right after graduation, then got rejected from a junior college in another state. My father drove me there to meet the dean of students – by us convincing him I was worthy of the effort. The dean gave me a chance that I needed.
During this time, my middle brother was wounded in Vietnam and lost his eye. I went off to junior college with the second belief destroyed by being angry with and consequently “not believing in God.” It was comfortable in the seventies to become an agnostic because I could sit on that high fence and watch the arguments pro and con (i.e., way above the fray while this desert wandering lasted for about 25 years).
In addition, I ran into a girl that was my first love, took advantage of her love for me, and then proceeded to tell her why I was unworthy of her kindness. But, I projected all my unworthiness and self-pity directly at her, as though she and all her characteristics were the sources the problem: Dante’s Hell will swallow me to the ninth level someday for that.
All combined, right around this time heading off to school, I began to lose the third belief where I felt unworthy at times, and “I lost belief in myself.” Unbelief stayed with me in some fashion over the next two decades. And by the way, wasn't the previous evidence been enough to convince me it was all true. I was a wreck and much less of a believer in the wonders of life – this had consequences.
Coming to Awareness
Of course, none of these three beliefs that had become slanted for me were true. I gave unreasonable and false truth to the experiences I encountered in my life: the stories I made up about them and the supposed fact that I perceived about them wasn’t real. Many of these untrue stories about myself started in childhood, and as I became an adult, I added more evidence to them: time seems to warp the meaning we give to something long past.
The real truth today is that possibility, and opportunity have always present. God is available for me when I need connection, and I had solid beliefs from my childhood training, which told me that I was kind, loving, generous, fun, smart, etc.
I was overwrought with the axis tilting, then actually made it tilt worse than anything that occurred in my teenage years by continuing to be an unbeliever in these three fundamental beliefs. But, I didn’t seem to be able to correct it – not until I could see what occurred and to begin to lose the meaning I had given it all. For some of us, that takes time, and some never get it at all. Boy, could I tell you stories!
Re-Invention
I am not exactly sure when things began to get better, but I remember starting to feel responsible for many of my actions when I took full custody of my son when he was nine, and I was thirty-five. This idea of fatherhood was essential to me, and I felt a massive debt of responsibility to help guide him in the way that my parents had me.
My life began to change significantly, and my language began to take on a new meaning. I began to make better choices, and I started to realize that I must refine and re-establish the beliefs I had lost: I could discard many that didn’t work too. I also realized that my actions had to match my words, or I would lose trust across all things.
The time became a starting point for me. It has been better ever since my thirties because I found a way to make beliefs work for me – and to work for others too.
